Disgusting features of Czech beer

In some respect I am a very un Czech person. At the risk of you turning me down as your guide, I will be honest with you: I don’t really like Czech cuisine and I only occasionally drink beer.

How can I be doing beer tours, you ask? Easily. In the past I was in KGB (Klub Gurmánů Brněnských – Club of gourmets of Brno) and I know very well what a good pub is like. I am good company but people don’t need me to appreciate their beer. And if they enjoy too much of it, me being sober might be handy. And above all I know some things about this mega successful beverage that make it easy for me not to drink it.

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For example I know that in the past beer resembled thin porridge and people ate it with a spoon or they first drained it to avoid the solid part. As far as alcohol is concerned, beer was much weaker and therefore everybody drank it, children included. This was because fermentation killed all germs which could be treacherously lurking in water and this fact made beer a safer drink.

10329027_918266551532301_3503056645297065163_nEven the taste of beer was different. Everyone who was allowed to brew beer was brewing it their own way. If they wished for bitter beer, they added oak bark. Was the beer too thin for a change? They swept the floor and threw the sweepings in there. However, the oddest discovery was that they often used frogs to make ale. No surprise: frog skin is hallucinogenic so our ancestors in the middle ages were simply getting high.

I personally don’t care for beer. The taste is just ok for me and while drinking beer I slip into sadness and nostalgy instead of a sparkling happy mood which cocktails give me. And when I see breweries boasting that they still use original middle age recipes to make beer, I have to laugh. Are you still sure about what is going to make you feel high?

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